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| That title applies to pretty much everything that's happened since I last blogged. I graduated. Friend's have already started college. Boyfriend's leaving for England again. And move-in day's a mere two weeks away. A lot has changed since we threw our flimsy cardboard hats in the sky and looked at the class of 2009 as a whole for the last time. They say senior year is our final test, the year we apply for college, our last AP tests, last chance to make friends with that friendly face you've seen for the past three years but never bothered saying hi to. But actually, this summer has been the real test. Instead of the usual catty fights that erupted during our senior year, I find that that has completely disappeared for the summer. We hang out with only the ones that matter. It's as simple as that. You don't hear of any drama between cliques anymore because why bother when you can just ignore them. There's no need to make the extra effort to fake sincerity when you never have to see them again, never have to avoid glaring eyes in the hallways. This is the summer that we realize who was worth that "KIT" memo in their yearbooks, the select few that we bother to call to hang out. It's sad, but I gotta say, extremely refreshing. I may have cut down my social circle drastically, but it's nice to know that there are those out there that are worth the effort. They're the ones that I know I can count on even if they're hundreds of miles away, even if we only talk every couple of months, that they're the ones that will always be there at the end of the day.
Bye for now, the next time I blog, I'll be a legit Bruin ;)
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| i have a theory. this past week i've looked around and i'm sick of the stupid issues that seniors deal with. i feel like every year, despite all the excitement from the previous summer leading up to senior year, we seniors are perfect at messing up in the beginning of school, sparking drama and tearing apart friendships. i think that it's the lack of work i guess, after the college apps of course. but then again, i dont think it's as much work as all the stress and classes we had to deal with during junior year. thus, more time for drama. what i envy about the juniors is that they're so close-knit, and they're all working for the same goal. theres no room for petty arguements, drama between groups of friends, or boy-issues. they're too immersed in their own grades and own lives to worry about having to deal with other shit going on in their lives and actually support their peers. but no, we seniors have this idiotic ego trip and set extremely high expectations for our senior year, falsely depicting the enticing "second semester", which really just ends up with a lot of fake friendships and unnecessary hate. so many of us end up complaining that arcadia is too boring, too conformist, too "safe" for anything interesting to happen. this is such an ignorant perspective.we all need to appreciate where we live before we actually have to leave. i dont understand what's not to love about arcadia. stop taking everything we have for granted.
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i'm not ready for gov to end yet. i'm just not. i didn't put all my heart and soul into something for the last 10 months to have it just end so quickly. yeah i know every year has to deal with it , but i feel like this year just went by way too fast for me to have a good grasp of everything before it ended. i haven't had enough of chambers, haven't had enough of the late-night cramming, and most of all , i haven't had enough of the team. regionals came way too fast and being the last unit to go, the second we were done, we were on our way to state. it seemed like a slow trudge, well at least i thought it was slow. then state hit us like a whirlwind, because with a busride, a capitol tour and three rounds, we were done. everything that we had put into this team was finished in a matter of four days. all the late-night cramming after our meetings with romo, the last minute memorizing of clauses (article i section 8 clause 18 !!) seconds before going up for chambers, and the mindboggling idea that 26 high school students could be seen in a hotel room watching the news and reading textbooks rather than fooling around watching reality tv. final round was no doubtedly the best we've ever done, and because of it, i'm so proud of our team. but i'm not done yet. and i don't think anyone else is. i'm not the least bit ready to pick the new team yet. how could they possibly understand the pain, the tears, and the DRAMA that our team went through this year, but ultimately upholding the title of being the 21st team to make it to state. it took so much just to overcome the internal battles we had, more or less the obstacles we had to overcome with each monday night chambers. but most of all, i'm not ready to end it because of mr. fox, after all the headaches he had to deal with our team, i dont know if we had enough time to show him that we really did love him and appreciate him. because he definitely deserves the best, which is a trip to nationals. and it's disappointing that we weren't able to do that, but i'm guessing that's up to next year's team right? but all in all, i'm not ready for it to end. plain and simple.
focus fox.
  
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| 1. I like reading the senior quotes on yearbooks because i think it tells a lot about a person and their personality. You know someone is lame and boring if they pick a stereotypical or overused quote. But its those weird, funny, witty ones that make me think you're pretty cool.
2. I have a thing for nerdy guys because I'm attracted to the gangly, awkward, but sweet guy. for example. I would choose Dev Patel over Channing Tatum anyday. Same with Chandler. (: No one's perfect and I like seeing people's imperfections, makes them more personable.
3. I hate crying. And I'm a really really ugly crier because half the time, I'm actually TRYING to stop crying, so i get myself in this weird, sniffly, choking, awkward crying stage. Because even if I can't stop crying, I continue to try to stop, and it's just really weird and ugly. I wish i could be those ppl who can cry and still look beautiful.
4. I love the kind of relationship I have with teachers such as Mr. Lee and Mr. Fox (: cause i can hit them and call them fat. you should see me and Lee fight someday. He hits like a little girl. and he's fat too. but Mr. Fox is pretty cool.
5. I hate Juicy Couture. (don't kill me) I know a bunch of girls like it, but i think it's really ugly and way too flashy. I love love love simple jewelry and simple, platinum or silver pendants. Ask cameron if you ever want to get me jewelry, he knows what kind i like. HAHA. but yeah, i dont like flashly jewelry. it's .. awkward.
6. I love studying Congress and I don't really like studying the Supreme Court. Call me weird Unit 3 (mostly Roy), but yes Congress > old farty men and women with life terms. (: I get really excited when we talk about Congress and all the crazy stuff that goes down, but when it comes to the judicial branch? dang... put me to sleep man.
7. I can't stand girls sometimes. Put me in a room with 10 girls and i might just want to shoot myself within a couple hours. But put me in a room with 10 guys and I could easily last a day. Boys are much more simple-minded than girls. It's a fact.
8. People say I'm blunt. I think that's an understatement. I'll tell you what you don't want to hear, if you really do need to hear it. I'm the meanest to my closest friends, but that is because I care about them the most <3
9. I miss my friends from far away, whether it be Norcal or Boston or London. I wish they would come and visit me more often. or the ideal situation would be that I would be loaded with money and could fly there (: but yah i miss them like crazy. :(
10. I sleep a lot. I can sleep anytime, anywhere.
11. I love using email. I used to rarely use it, but I've recent gotten back into it because of someone (: but now Im addicted. I think it's such a brilliant use of technology.
12. People with heavy make up amuse me. The girls that cake it on are so superficial and sometimes i feel like going up to them, and seeing if i can scrape it off with my finger just to see if it'll flake off (: I've had that urge ever since i was in elementary school when I first saw this asian mom with a massive amount of foundation.
13. I notice little things that most people don't. Whether, it's an eyebrow raise, a twitch, or a kind gesture, I tend to always notice it and it changes my view of people. Of course I dont tell anyone, i just store it in my brain. But sometimes when i see a boy hold out a door for a girl down the hallway, or another person rushing to help someone carry books, I immedietly think well of that person. (:
14. This used to be my club volleyball number. I hated club volleyball. What a waste of my freshmen year.
15. I am easily impressed. This refers back to #13. Do something small, and I'll take notice. But that also works in reverse. Do something wrong, and I'll notice too.
16. I really enjoy driving. It's very liberating and I love blasting really corny music like Taylor Swift's Love Story or some other asian fobby song that I'm addicted to at the moment. It clears my mind and I solve alot of my personal issues while driving.
17. I think that the people that know me best are the ones that can easily push my buttons. They know what makes me tick, but they also know just how to cheer me up. and i am extremely grateful for having them in my life.
18. I like doing simple nice things for people at random times. Sometimes i'll get a random b urst of kindness and I'll go out and get starbucks for you, or drop soup off when you're sick. (: It's to make up for when I'm a cranky mean bitch sometimes.
19. I don't want high school to end yet. I like having routine in my life. and I 'm not ready to have it all shaken up and be thrown into college just yet. :(
20. I am extremely glad that my sister convinced me to try out for gov. She almost had to hit me to make me to go the info night but I am so glad she did. Giving up ASB for Gov was possibly the best deicision I've ever made in my entire high school career. GOV LOVE <3
21. My dog responds to C hinese commands. My friends tried to tell him to "go outside" but it didn't work until they said it in Chinese (:
22. I've never been to Chantry at night because my freshmen year I promised myself I wouldn't go up there for the first time unless it was with a boy that I liked. I haven't broken that promise yet, but hopefully soon?
23. I get scared when I see people with scarves wrapped around their necks. I'm afraid they're going to get it caught on something and then they'll choke and die. Thats why my scarves are always just tied at the neck or hanging loose, but never wrapped around.
24. I wrote my college essay about my older sister, but I will never show it to her. That would be a disgusting display of affection that I refuse to express. Gross. Save us the gagging please.
25. I like to stare at people. I rather not talk and just stare at people cause a person's facial expressions say so much about them. If you were to ask me if I was staring at you I'd probably say yes because I really am. And then after that, i'll go talk to someone about the interesting things I saw that day. (: | | |
| friends are situational. it's a harsh reality, but it's true. you find yourself spending more and more time with those you see everyday, and those who used to be friends are now aquaintances. i used to think i was capable of holding on to those who truly mattered, but then came high school, carrying with it studying, grades, and drama. it's hard for me to accept, but i've realized that the same people i used to hang out with every friday are now the people that i walk by in the hallways without so much of a glance. and those i used to pass in the hallways without a name attached to a face are now some of my closest friends. did senior year really change all of us this quickly? last year they warned us about the drastic changes that we would encounter when it came to be our turn to be seniors, but i didn't know the change would happen in a mere couple of months. i used to be attracted to larger groups of friends, becoming a social butterfly to build new friendships everywhere i turned. well. that was a while ago. i find myself becoming more and more recluse, finding comfort in the few around me and not giving a care in the world for the others that fail to impact my life, the very thing i warned myself against last year. i rely on those i see, and sometimes i wish i didn't. i feel like i'm taking the easy way out. rather than putting the effort to mend the relationships i had so passionately built last year, i've resorted to falling back on those that have always been there. my stubbornness tells me that it's a good thing to go back to old friends, but reality tells me that i need do something to fix this. hopefully i can. | | |
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